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Her neighbors: Kim Kardashian and Kanye West.

Ah, the stories she could 鈥� and will 鈥� tell when she hits the Diamond Center stage Saturday, March 4.

鈥淭here鈥檚 always something going on and the funny thing is the proximity. I鈥檓 not even kidding, I could wave to them right now, that鈥檚 how close it is,鈥� she said during a phone call Monday from home. 鈥淜ris Jenner came over one day, like on moving day, and I showed her: 鈥楲ook how close we are. This is ridiculous.鈥� And then she started waving out the window.鈥�

Griffin also met Donald Trump long before he had 鈥減resident鈥� before his name. She did a charity event for his 鈥淎pprentice鈥� reality show with Liza Minnelli on one of Trump鈥檚 golf courses.

鈥淪o I spent the day on the golf course with Donald Trump and Liza Minnelli, and Donald Trump was driving the golf cart and Liza and I were in the back and Liza was getting the spins. And Trump wouldn鈥檛 slow down because he was showing us off to these big golfers there,鈥� said the 56-year-old comedian/celebrity/author/actress. 鈥淎nd I was in heaven, not because of him but because of Liza. But I don鈥檛 think it鈥檚 appropriate, no matter your office, to ever give Liza Minnelli the spins.鈥�

While some comedians tell jokes, Griffin tells secrets.

鈥淚f you come see me at Desert Diamond, you鈥檙e going to hear stories that honestly you can鈥檛 hear from anybody else on the planet because Liza doesn鈥檛 remember,鈥� she quipped. 鈥淲hat I pride myself on doing is doing the entire show, stories that you can only hear from me on that stage on that night. It鈥檚 not going to be a Trump hair joke; it鈥檚 going to be me poking his hair the last time I saw him. It鈥檚 not going to be a joke about Kim and Kanye. It鈥檚 going to be 鈥榃hat is it like to live next door to them. What is it like when Kim Kardashian comes to your house?鈥欌��

You can also expect to hear her:

Dish on Trump: 鈥淭his administration is made for standup comedy. ... You have to realize it鈥檚 a comic鈥檚 dream to think that the more we make fun of him, the more he is personally offended.鈥�

Stand up for Mexicans: 鈥淚鈥檓 going to be standing on, not the wall, but any kind of a fence and I鈥檓 literally going to be throwing Mexicans into America. I don鈥檛 know if that鈥檚 considered a passive form of protest.鈥�

Look back on Oscar鈥檚 epic embarrassment: 鈥淚 love that (鈥楲a La Land鈥� producer) Jordan Horowitz is trending because people were actually saying, 鈥榃hy can鈥檛 the president be more like the guy from 鈥楲a La Land鈥� who did the right thing?鈥� ... 鈥榃ait a minute. People can take a minute and do the right thing and everything is OK and people are better for it?鈥欌��

Cheer on Arizona Wildcats: 鈥淢y boyfriend (Randy Bick) of 5陆 years is a Wildcat and he is 18 years younger than I am so I now have to be a Wildcat. I don鈥檛 know anything about sports, but when he and I go hiking every day, he wears his Arizona cap and it鈥檚 always a little embarrassing for me when a grown man passes him and says, 鈥楤ear Down鈥�. I don鈥檛 think women have those secret societies. If I see a female friend I don鈥檛 pass her and go, 鈥楾here鈥檚 a sales at Saks.鈥欌��